Eat.

One attempts to take care of another.

Eat.

A Short play, for two people, written by Sean Dance Fannin

An early morning — two people at a breakfast table. One standing, one sitting. The one sitting may stand, and the one standing may sit; they are never two both standing and sitting at the same time. There is a fried egg sandwich on the table. The following happens with minimal self pity, pauses, and tact — but maximal humor, grace, and familiarity. 

STELLAR

I only have a few more days.

MAR

You've said that for over a year now. Eat.

STELLAR

As the scale gets longer it only becomes more true, in the scheme of things.

MAR

I made you a sandwich now eat.

STELLAR

It has egg on it.

MAR

Of course.

STELLAR

Why 'of course.'

MAR

Because it's an egg sandwich.

STELLAR

Doesn't look very appetizing.

MAR

You said you didn't want a grilled cheese.

STELLAR

I don't.

MAR

Well I know you won't eat anything else, so Eat.

STELLAR

I'm not hungry.

MAR

And you won't be. Eat.

STELLAR

I feel like it's coming. I'm going to die.

MAR

Maybe you feel that way because you haven't eaten.

STELLAR

I'm not eating because I feel that way.

MAR

Only one way to find out. Eat.

STELLAR

What did you have for breakfast?

MAR

I'll eat after you.

STELLAR

This isn't something you like doing. I can tell.

MAR

It's early. I'm tired. You don't have coffee. Please eat.

STELLAR

I don't see the point in eating.

MAR

Jesus Christ.

STELLAR

It's so monotonous. Every day it's like…this shit again?

MAR

It's necessary, that's the point. You don't have a choice, that's the point.

STELLAR

It's not so much a question of the point as much as it's a question of the value.

MAR

Well then you don't have a choice, that's the value.

STELLAR

That's the worst part I think.

MAR

I can't believe I'm having to convince you to eat.

STELLAR

Are necessary things always valuable?

MAR

Why the hell did I come over here?

STELLAR

I don't know.

MAR

You asked!

STELLAR

There's your answer then

MAR

You can't half ask for help. You can't call me saying you can't get out of bed for groceries then not eat when you tell me you need someone to cook for you.

STELLAR

That was just an example

MAR

I'm doing the example. I'm literally doing an example of what you asked.

STELLAR

This isn't helping I asked you to help

MAR

You asked me to take care of you

STELLAR

That's a type of help

MAR

If I help you walk through this logically of why you have to eat, will you please just do it and be done with it?

STELLAR

Good luck.

MAR

Why do you breathe?

STELLAR

That's not the same thing

MAR

Stop! Nope. Answer. Why?

STELLAR

It's not something I do really. It just happens.

MAR

You do it because you don't have a choice. If you hold your breath long enough your body is just going to force you to breathe. If you can manage to stop that from happening you'll pass out and your body will do it's own thing.

STELLAR

It's not the same thing.

MAR

I'm not saying it's the same thing I'm saying it's like that though.

STELLAR

I still have to eat. I still have to do it.

MAR

Right maybe it's a bad example.

STELLAR

And worse you're not even right.

MAR

No the example's right it just didn't convince you.

STELLAR

No because if you lay in a bathtub while you pass out or hold your breath under the ocean when your body forces you to breathe you won't breathe you'll drown. You'll inhale but it'll be water and that's not breathing.

MAR

Ok then yes it's exactly like eating.

STELLAR

How?

MAR

Because if you don't do it you'll die.

STELLAR

That's no reason to eat.

MAR

Oh my sweet fucking hell are you about to sit here and not eat until I explain to you why it's better to live than die?

STELLAR

That would explain why it's better to eat than not, wouldn't it?

MAR

I'm not doing this with you.

STELLAR

What?

MAR

I'm not going to wallow with you. We're not doing that. Do you have insurance?

STELLAR

Not good insurance –

MAR

Shut the fuck up. Where's your insurance card?

STELLAR

It's in that drawer. It's attached to one of those papers it comes in.

MAR

Is it in the envelope still?

STELLAR

No. What are you doing?

MAR

I'm calling your insurance to check which hospitals are in network.

STELLAR

I'm not going to the hospital.

MAR

If you don't eat I'll take you and it won't be hard once it gets to that point.

STELLAR

You wouldn't do that. I know you. You wouldn't.

MAR

Why did you ask me to come over?

STELLAR

It was more for the emotional support goddamn.

MAR

Well I've got a lot of shit going on so I don't appreciate you asking me to come over at the butt-ass-crack-of-dawn to run groceries when that's not even what you wanted.

STELLAR

Goddamn.

MAR

And you don't want emotional support you want me to tell you you're right.

STELLAR

ExCUSE me for wanting a little fucking friendship when I feel bad! And I knew you wouldn't understand that I knew you wouldn't fucking understand something like this and I was right because look LOOK at how you're treating me.

MAR

I'm offering you help I can't help it if you don't like the help I'm offering.

STELLAR

SEE!

MAR

It's the help you need.

STELLAR

I knew this THIS was about You.

MAR

What the hell does that mean?

STELLAR

I knew the only way I could get you to help is if it felt like You mattered. You helping me isn't about helping me at all it's about making you feel good about yourself.

MAR

It's literally 8 AM on a Sunday.

STELLAR

So?

MAR

You think this feels good?

STELLAR

All I'm asking for is a little meaning a little fucking meaning goddamn. To matter, to have meaning so much that it would matter for you to be here however I need you here but fuck. FUCK.

MAR

I made you an Egg Sandwich

STELLAR

I don't eat those anymore!

MAR

You're getting help! I'm helping you! What does it fucking matter what's in my head about it does it feel any different to you?

STELLAR

Yes.

MAR

Guess it fucking doesn't 'cause you're not eating either way looks like.

STELLAR

I just asked you why I should stay alive and you're acting like I killed your dog.

MAR

What the fuck. What the actual Fuck.

STELLAR

Yeah?

MAR

It's not fair, you can't put that bullshit on me. Like if I don't give you a good enough answer are you just going to opt out?

STELLAR

It wouldn't be your fault if the answer doesn't exist.

MAR

Thank Fuck For That.

STELLAR

It doesn't have to be The answer. Just A answer. I'm running out of…options. I don't think there is a correct answer just…many incorrect answers. And so far that's all I've seemed to be able to find. A little meaning. Something tangible. That's all I was looking for I didn't mean for it to be that deep. I didn't mean to ask too much of you.

MAR

Meaning is asking too much. It means understanding. Thoroughly. Statistically. Or there might be something that you miss. And you always know when there's something you might miss. Asking for meaning is too much. You can have so much less. So little. And still enough. You ask for too much in meaning. Meaning. You mean purpose? No meaning. Meaning.

[Spit.]

Fuck you. It's not that there is no meaning. It's that meaning needs too much. Too much for what you're asking. Asking it to do. Meaning. Fuck. I don't need meaning. I need contribution I need I need I need to take shape I need to be real I need to exist and that's really it. Is waking up and breathing every day really not enough for you? Sometimes it's all I can do. It's all I can do sometimes. So. Much. Meaning. I'm overwhelmed by meaning. I'm under phenomenized and over informed. I know so many things and each new one makes me know that much more about how much I do not know. I know so much and it hasn't helped gained meaning. Meaning. I don't need meaning. It's there. Probably. Part of all I don't know. Can't know without perspective. Radical perspective that's too much to ask me to do. See. Meaning. I raked my fingers on meaning and I'm bleeding. If I only have to contribute, if I only need to prove I exist, that is an accomplishable task. It's something I can imagine the end of. I can't imagine the end of meaning. What then? Will I stop discovering? Wanting to? Will that drain out my meaning? I don't need to mean anything. Don't ask me to mean anything, please. I just know you need to eat. If you want to stay alive, you have to. You don't have a choice.

STELLAR

…There is no way I'm eating that shit.