Sunflower

On the eve a major departure, two people confront their projections of love.

Sunflower

A Short Play for Two People

by Sean Dance Fannin

[Suddenly.]

• Did you ever think about that?
• A couple times.
• ,                              You've been obsessed with sunrises recently.

• Is that any different than normal?
• Not really but that means it's still true, recently anyway.
• I hate night time.
• I love it. My brain comes awake at night.
• Everyone has different frequencies I've heard. At different times of day. I wish I could sleep at night.
• ,
• ,
• ,
• ,
• Where to after this?
• I'll probably go home and sleep.
• The day's just getting started.
• I'm tired. I've been up all night.
• On acid.
• Right.
• I'm glad we did it.
• Sure.
• I won't be able to sleep. Waffle House?
• Maybe.
• My treat.
• Yeah.
• ,
• ,
• ,
• ,
• At least we're in the afterglow.
• I usually get more of a cliff to be honest.
• ,
• ,
• Are you thinking about anything else?
• Not really.
• Are you thinking about me?
• You're standing right next to me.
• You're leaving tomorrow.
• Today.
• Yeah why are you going to bed?
• Because I need sleep.
• Can I come with you?
• ,
• Not across the country.
• Or to bed either.
• Why?
• I'm leaving.
• I know wouldn't you want one more night?
• Not really.
• Oh.
• Sorry I didn't mean anything by that.
• Ok.
• ,
• ,
• Can I tell you something honest?
• I'd hope so.
• We should have always just been friends.
• Oh
• You get that right?
• ,
• ,
• Yeah.
• Good.
• But the whole time?
• No not the whole time.
• When'd it change?
• ,
• Sorry.
• Yeah don't ask me that.
• Why are you being so mean?
• I'm not being mean, I'm telling you the truth
• Ok
• Alright don't fucking sulk
• I'm not it's just hard to hear that
• No ugh don't act like that
• Like what
• Don't get mad
• I'm not mad
• Sad
• Why can't I be sad?
• Because you're making me feel bad
• I'm not trying to
• Don't feel special, I do this to everyone.
• , Don't feel special?
• You know what I mean
• No
• I'm a piece of shit
• That's not an excuse
• I don't feel good
• Are you going to puke again
• No but - I don't know,
• "Don't feel special."
• Maybe -
• "Don't feel special." "Don't feel fucking special"
• You're seeing it wrong
• C'mon what the fuck!
• Why are you acting like this?
• Because I fucking love you you idiot.
• ,
• ,
• ,
• ,
• ,
• ,
• ,
• ,
• ,
• ,
• ,
• ,
• I mean. I don't -
• I know. I know.
• ,
• ,
• This isn't fair. I shouldn't have to give you a reason. That puts so much on me. You're never going to change someone's desires I don't think. It's not worth trying for.
• I thought we were on the same page.
• I think we're not nearly as much on the same page as we were pretending to be. That's my fault. I'm bad at communication.
• How though? I know you.
• I hate when people say that.
• You know me.
• Clearly not.
• How.
• You're a book. You take a long time to read. Most of my secrets aren't written where anyone can get at them.
• Ok
• Can we please not be mad at eachother?
• I'm not mad.
• Good.
• That's not the point.
• I'm trying to let you down gently.
• Why'd you wait till now just before you leave?
• You waited to ask I guess
• Do you want to ask me anything?
• No, not really.
• Ok.
• ,
• ,
• Why do you say you love me?
• Because I do.
• But why me?
• Why you?
• Yeah
• Because you're you
• Fuck off.
• ,
• I'm nothing. I don't trust people who like me without limit. Unconditional love is awful. Because how am I expected to be better, or good, or anything if there's no limits on me? I'm a piece of shit. If I'm not trying to be better I'm getting worse. You can't drift towards being a better person.
• You're not a bad person
• Stop being fucking nice to me
• ... So, you'd like me more if I was mean to you?
• Probably. I guess that's what I'm saying.
• I don't like that
• See? We don't know each other that well.
• ,
• ,
• ,
• ,
• I love people who are difficult. Impossible. I've dated addicts and abusers and angry angry angry young men. I hate being in love. I fall in love with people who hate everything because it seems the most natural response to the state of the world. The difference between me and everyone else is that I want it to be better. It takes a long time to kill yourself quickly. No less intent in that. But I've got something in my pocket. Sunshine. Or something. I'll share it. I think that's noble. I'd kill for some kind of sunshine to spill out of someone's eyes when they look at me. I don't want to be in love. I want someone to be in love with me.

   ,

   I don't think I'm the problem. I think it's everyone else.

[The sun rises.]

End of play

Update - October 2022

This scene eventually developed into my full length play Sunflower. Visit the Plays page to download the full length script. Interesting to see how this scene plays out contextually. The only bit that changed much was the final small monologue because I changed the circumstances slightly. 

Read Sunflower on New Play Exchange